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Friday, January 23, 2009
 dear diary, mood : Apathetic. why? can you guys tell me why? Why whenever i treat soeone dear to me like a gold yet she treat me like nothing? i always thought i am not just a passerby in her life. But it's seems like i am just a passerby.. who just treat her differently from others. Nobody cares about how i feel. Do you know how i am feeling when you did that? i felt like something just pierce through my heart. it's like a dagger being stabbed into the heart again and again non-stop. Why? why did you do that? sigh. Regardless what i do, you stilll treat me like someone you don't hold dear. I don't expect anything in return from when i treat you real good. I just want you to.. treat me better, not with that attitude. Can you? sigh. yesterday night was another bullshit night. I fought with my mom, she threw everything that she see, dictionary, chair, pen, pencil,books,newspaper etc etc.. and one of the item hit my head. Thanks alot. Thanks for the years that you looked after me. Thanks for everything that you've done. Thanks for making me finally realise that you don't treat me like a daughter. thanks for saying that im dumb, stupid, moron, cheap, fucker. thanks alot. You taught me the greatest story on earth. You taught me what is hate, you taught me what is cheap. People always say that i've a great mom, i agree that. But i feel sorry for her for having such a cheap daughter. I NEED SOME AIR TO BREATHE. IM STILL A HUMAN, I NEED AIR TO SURVIVE. I DON'T WANT TO DIE AND I CAN'T DIE. I CANNOT FORSAKE SO MANY PEOPLE. I STILL HAVE TO BRING NORTH VIEW REVIVAL. FANNY, DO YOU STILL REMEMBER? YOU PROMISED TO BRING NORTH VIEW REVIVAL, HOW CAN YOU BACKSLIDE? NOOOO, NEVER! but please, give me time.. i need time. and girl, No matter how you treat me i don't care. Just remember, when you need me i'm always here. I'm here for you always and.. forever. 4:55 PM
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